Changes

Faith.....sticking our feet into what we know God wants us to do WAY before we see the plan!  Well at least that's my version of the definition.  I have been thinking about the ways God has been preparing me for the journey he has placed before me.  I am in awe at how He works things out when I start to see the little pieces fitting together. As I look back over the past 3 years, if I would have known the plan I would have just not acted and told God that I will "pray" about it for a while.  I won't share the details, but you that know me best can remember all my kicking and screaming! Maybe not literally but in my heart.  I can't thank those people enough for all the times they just listened and didn't judge me for what I was feeling.  We need alot more listening and alot less judging if we are going to reach this world for Christ.  I wonder how much more willing people would be to come to church if they saw us be this way with our fellow brother's and sister's in Christ?
Anyway, back to where I started! Everyday, I see a new piece of the puzzle come together.  What I thought I wanted 3 years ago is not what I want now.  I have surrendered and now I want more of HIM and a lot more of relationships with people that don't know HIM.  I thought about this as I sat in the homeschool store last night and observed people.  I actually laughed to myself and found myself telling God how funny He is to put me back into homeschooling after I finally get what He has been teaching me.  When I homeschooled before, I was very comfortable with all my christian friends.  Now I want to form more relationships with non Christians and He puts me back into homeschooling! He does have a sense of humor! I am excited to see what He will do.  I came across this question.....What changes may you need to make to embrace God's journey for you?  This Bible verse answers the question for me, John 11:40 Then Jesus said, "Did I not tell you, that if you believe, you will see the glory of God?"
We all have changes that need to be made, mine aren't the same as yours.....What would be the answer to that question for you?

1 step ahead 2 steps back!

Just when you think your getting caught up, yep....a humble reminder that I might be getting caught up but not to put my faith there! I went to leave work yesterday and forgot something so I turned the corner and all I heard was a very loud sound.  I stopped the car and got out to see what happened and there was a hole the size of a softball in my tire AND my rim is bent.  I looked behind me and a huge rock was sticking out into the driveway.  When I turned it punctured my tire! I was not happy to say the least and two men came running because they heard the noise. They told me that their have been many other cars and trucks that have had the same thing happen.  My question is then...."why is the rock still there?"  Michael went in to tell the business park office and they didn't seem to care at all.  They said it's there so that the big trucks don't run up over the curb.  So the next logical question is.."why is it sticking out into the road to hit people who do NOT run up over the curb?" It really is pointless because it all comes down to them still not caring....ughh. 
Well.....tomorrow is another day!  

Answered Prayer

A few days ago I was talking through this whole homeschooling thing with Glenda, a lady I work with.  She encouraged me with a lot of things. One thing she told me to do was to ask God to give me some signs that when things get hard, I can look back on and remember that God called me to do this.  I have been flooded with things and I just wanted to share how faithful HE is to answer our prayers.  The very first thing was Ashley and Nathan's response.  I was so concerned that they would feel left out:(  When I asked them separately to pray for the possibility, they both immediately said, "You should do it Mom!" I was a little more concerned about what Nathan was going to say because he was the one who begged me to go back to homeschooling after we put him in school.  He immediately said, "That would be the best for Daniel, you need to do it!" I looked up and thanked the Lord right away.  Some other things were my work schedule.  I am blown away at the understanding and generosity of Jack and Susan that I work for.  Today they gave me so much encouragement and told me not to worry and to come in when I can.  God is faithful to provide. Among the other things were.....encouragement from a friend in a text this morning and her willingness to help me with ideas, a laptop computer....yes, God can really outdo Himself can't He? and an inspiring email from a dear mom in our church who reminded me that it is God teaching Daniel through me and that He only expects me to do my best and he will do the rest. Now I am crying......not because I am scared anymore but because I am in awe at why He loves me so much. I know I don't deserve it...but He loves me in spite of myself.  When He looks at me, He sees His precious sons blood that covers all my sin!
Last but definitely NOT least the support and encouragement I have received  from my wonderful husband.  He has been so strong for me.  I love you so much, Michael!

So when the days get tough ahead I am going to look back to all these things and rest in HIM.

No More Excuses!

A couple days ago in my Bible study, I was learning about Joshua and Moses and the reactions of each when God called them to do something.  Moses' reaction was to make excuses about how he wasn't qualified to do what God asked him to do.  He made excuse after excuse.  Joshua's response was immediate obedience and courage that showed he wasn't going to back down even though there was great risk.  God enabled both of them to handle the assignments God gave them even though they had no experience or background to which God was asking them to do.  Then I came across a series of questions.  The first was, "What does Joshua's lack of excuses reveal about his level of faith?" This was easy for me to answer because it was about someone else!  It reveals that he totally believed that God could do what he (Joshua) could not.  Then came the personal question.  "Has God called you to do something for which you are making excuses?  What do excuses regarding why you can't do what God asks reveal about how you view yourself?  How you view God?  Ouch. This question was much harder.  In fact, I couldn't even answer it for 2 days.  I knew what it was but I just kept thinking that maybe it is looking for a "church" answer.  Something He wants me to do in the church.  Then I finally surrendered and said yes to homeschooling Daniel.  There has been many reasons in the past year and a half that have brought  that to my mind, but I quickly dismissed them.  Excuse after excuse as to why it is not possible for me to do that.  No more excuses...still a little scared but trusting God for what it will take to do this.  I found this quote in my study, "Courage is not the absence of fear.  It is the will to move forward in spite of it.  I am a little fearful.....but I am going to move forward in spite of it!
1 Peter 5:7  Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. 

Joshua Is Coming!

Deuteronomy 34:8
     "So the sons of Israel wept for Moses in the plains of Moab thirty days; then the days of weeping and mourning for Moses came to an end."

     Moses brought the people from Egypt through the wilderness and toward the promise land.  I thought about how scary it had to be for them to not even be in the promise land and have Moses die.  I am sure they were wondering where God was and how He could let this happen before they even got to their destination.  It was like they could see the promise land but couldn't get there.  Often times in my walk with God, I can see where He is leading, but I just can't seem to get there.  It is not that God is hiding it from me or teasing me with it, but so often it is that I need to let go of something I have depended on.  We tend to depend on and hold on to what we can physically see and when that is gone, it can be scary.  God designed us for relationship with Him and anytime we put something else in that place we will be disappointed.
     The Israelites needed to mourn for the loss of Moses and all the other things that came as a result of losing him.  That could have been anger, fear, resentment toward God or many other things.  I have never really been one to take time to mourn over things.  I usually just "get on with it."  I love to be there to help others mourn but don't usually express mine.  It is not that I didn't want to, it was just that I never took the time to be still and hear my own struggles.  I just focused on others and put mine on the back burner.  But God is showing me the need to mourn over the things I feel I have lost.  Taking those things to God and allow Him to fill those empty places and then moving on to do what He has purposed.  Just like the Israelites, we can't see the plan God has.  They couldn't see that God's plan was that Joshua was coming!  God gives us time to mourn the things we have lost.  That is healthy.  What is not healthy is when we never move past the mourning stage.  There are many things people mourn or should mourn.  Friendships, jobs, loss of a loved one, spouses leaving, divorce, ministry opportunities, finances.  It is different for each of us, but what is the same for all of us is the faithfulness of God to send a "Joshua".  I love the quote from Pricilla Shirer, "As we grieve those things that must die so that we can move more fully into the Spirit-filled abundant life, let's remember that better things are on the horizon!  A Joshua is coming!  Are there things is your life that you need to mourn?  Have you mourned long enough and need to move on?