Catching up....again!

It seems that I am always catching up, but hey, thats my life right now!  I realized that I never posted pictures of Nathan's last playoff football game and Daniel getting his blue belt! 
Nathan's game was great, but they lost in the last seconds of the game:( They played their little hearts out.  We were all so sad that they didn't get to win.  Now, Nathan is looking forward to tackle football next year.  Needless to say, I am NOT, but he loves it and to quote him, "It is in my blood, Mom."  How can I refuse that?

He was a flag pulling machine this year!

Yes, he caught that one!

Daniel is still enjoying TaeKwando!  It is amazing how he is improving with each belt.  He just recently earned his blue belt and is really excited about it!  During the test, he actually broke 3 boards at once! We have it on video but I can't figure out how to load it on here! His Master comes up to me often to tell me how proud they are of him.  He is a hard worker.

Broke 3 boards on the first try!

Also, Nathan's friend got tickets to WWE and he and Michael went last night.  I am not sure that I have seen Nathan that excited in a long time!

Well, I think I got it all!  

Expectations

Last Thursday night, Ashley and I had a long talk about some things she was really struggling with.  The more we talked the more I could see that I struggle with those very same things, just on a bigger scale.  I have thought about our conversation all week.  I won't share the details but it comes down to the expectations of others and even more, the expectations we place on ourselves.  There are certain things I am wrestling with right now that are true to me but are not necessarily "true".  What I mean by that is we can believe something about ourselves and it becomes the truth to us.  What we don't say in words, we ultimately say in our actions. 
I was studying John the Baptist this morning.  I was reading in John 1:19-31.  John confesses freely that he is not the Messiah, so they kept asking him who he was.  In verse 22 they asked him, "What do you say about yourself?"  His answer was that he was not Elijah the prophet and he was not the Christ.  He said he was a voice of one crying out in the wilderness, proclaiming Christ as his leader.  He understood that his life had value not through what he could do but because of his life's connection to Christ.  He understood that it wasn't about what he could do but how he could serve Christ.  For John the Baptist is was public and everyone could see what he was doing, but for many of us we are behind the scenes and not many ever see our service and that is okay because it's not about us, it's about HIM.
If we are all honest with ourselves, we all struggle with our value being connected to what we can do.  Our culture puts so much emphasis on us to do, do, do.  Not only do we get caught up in it, we stick our kids right in the middle of it. We sign them up for this class and that class in hopes that they will find what they are good at.  I have been asking myself these questions this week:  Do I want my kids to find their identity in some great talent they might have or do I want them to find their identity in the One who gave up His life for them- Christ.  Am I filling their time with activities for themselves or providing them with opportunities to serve others and ultimately Christ? 
I am not saying our kids shouldn't be in activities and I know some will be offended by this post and that's okay, but these are questions I am searching out for myself.  I hope that someone can take away some bit of encouragement!

This morning as I was reading, I came across this verse.
 
Isaiah 58:11
 The Lord will guide you continually,
      giving you water when you are dry
      and restoring your strength.
   You will be like a well-watered garden,
      like an ever-flowing spring.

There are many times when I am dry in my faith.  I am so thankful that during those times, HE is faithful and never gives up on me.  Sometimes it is so hard to face our neediness.  We want to feel like we are in control and by sheer willpower, do everything without acknowledging our need for Christ.  Something I needed reminded of is how He places me in situations where my strengths are of no good and my weaknesses are extremely evident. If I let Him, he draws me closer and closer to Himself.  I am learning to thank Him for the hard times I go through, knowing that it will be used to accomplish the Lord's work.  I am thankful that He restores my strength daily.

Daniel's Birthday

Today is Daniel's 9th Birthday! He came down the stairs this morning smiling so big!  He asked me all week if he could have the day off from school because it was his birthday but I was the mean old mom and made him do school anyway.  He was wonderful about it and did it without any complaints.  I did bribe him a little bit with telling him we would go pick out his cake when he got finished!

Daniel started a tradition when he was 5 or 6 that he would hide the birthday present and then make a map so that the person could go find it.  Now, they all do it for each other.  So here is a picture of Ashley's map for Daniel's present.

Here is Nathan's:

And here is Daniel, excited to go find his presents!

After opening his presents, he picked Sir Pizza to eat for dinner. Then we came home and ate Ice Cream Cake! Yum!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DANIEL! You are such a blessing to our family and we all love you so much!

Peace

Last night before bed, Nathan and I were praying for a very dear family that we know that is going through a very scary time.  After we finished, he looked at me and said, "Mom, is there really a purpose for everything we go through?"  I could tell that it just really bothered him that this family has to go through this trial.  I am so thankful for his tender heart toward people. I shared with him that just because we know Christ, doesn't mean we will be free of pain.  That is until we get to see HIM face to face! After our talk, I went to bed really thinking about the questions that he had and asked God to help me explain it a little better. 
While reading today, I came across this verse.....Colossians 3:14-15. 

¹⁴ Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. ¹⁵ And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful.

Peace is the main mark of the authority of Christ.  A sense of peace will always accompany His will even when it is not our personal preference.  Christ is the Prince of Peace!  We can have peace because HE is peace. 

 

We carve pumpkins every year, and last year we forgot to buy them:( The kids were no very happy with us.  So this year I made sure not to forget!

And the best part.......they did them all by themselves!  As true to tradition, we separated all the seeds and baked them. YUM!

Our youth group served hot chocolate, coffee and cookies to trick-or-treaters inviting them to our church.
They had a great turn out and everyone was so shocked that we would do all this for them.  The youth kids all dressed up as different color M & M's!

Nathan at Tyler's house! I am so thankful for their friendship:)

They each carved a pumpkin.....one had a "T" and the other an "N"!

Zoo

Friday we went to the zoo with some friends.  I was shocked to hear from my kids that they were excited to go.  I have been wanting to get to the zoo since we moved here but every time I would mention it, they would all sigh.........I don't think they realized how much walking we were going to have to do at this zoo but I didn't hear one bit of complaining that they were tired.  We probably walked about 4 miles or so.  It was a beautiful day to be outside and you walk through alot of nature trails. We went with some people from our small group at church and Ashley and Nathan couldn't have been happier helping take care of the little ones!  I thought back to how fun it was to go when my kids were the little ones. But to watch them taking the other kids hands and being so excited to show them the animals and share in their joy.......it was priceless! 
It got me thinking about the different stages of their lives and how much they are changing.  I loved when they were little and I love that they are getting older!  Soon after Ashley was born, I had so many "seasoned" mothers that took the time to mentor and encourage me.  I know that the Lord used them to help me on my parenting journey.  Now, the most exciting thing to me is that I can have a turn to mentor and encourage these young women in our small group.  And even better.....my older kids are being a part of that too!   I LOVE that! 

As we spent the day together it made me really think back to when I was in this stage of parenting.  I remember how hard I was on myself when my kids would misbehave.  I will confess.......I still can be at times!  But now their misbehavior is so different.  It's not as "innocent" and foolish....now they pretty much know better!  Just like their misbehavior is different, so are the consequences!  Now we have to work on being creative and continuing to train their hearts.  The older I get the more I realize how important it is to not just train their outward behavior, but really get to their heart.  Daniel is learning Jeremiah 17:9 for Awana this week.....The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure.  Who can understand it?  Boy, is that the TRUTH!  If I am honest enough to look into my own heart.....I see how sinful it really is and how there are times I don't even understand my own heart.  There are so many times that I parent my kids out of my own sinful heart.  It is times like these that I see that I can't do it on my own.  I need Jesus to help me daily.....sometimes moment by moment!  I don't mean just going to church on Sunday or just opening my Bible to read it because that's what we are suppose to do as Christians.  I mean allowing Christ access to my heart and submitting to the times when HE asks me to change.  When I was growing up, I remember thinking about wanting to be "good".  I wanted to do all the right things and be good.  It didn't take very long to blow that expectation! Now, it is such a relief for me to know that I can't be good on my own, I need Jesus!  I want my kids to see that.  For me, one of the greatest things in parenting is seeing my kids respond to the things God is teaching them.  They usually share those things with me when I talk with them before bed.  Ashley wrote is her blog about one of those moments about a week ago.  Her blog is not public so if you want to read it, send me an email and she can add your name to her allow list!
Wow! all this just from the zoo!

Still on Break!

The kids have been out of school on break.  They have all of next week left so we have been out and about and enjoying the beautiful weather! This has been the first break that they all haven't been complaining of being bored!  We have enjoyed sleeping in (me especially), watching movies, the park and playing games.  The other day we played a game called The Game of Things.  Ashley learned to play it in youth group, so she prepared all the paper pieces and made up some scenerios (like....things you shouldn't eat ect...) and we laughed so hard at some of the responses! They were all very creative. 

Yes, this is Ashley sitting on my lap on the swing! It started with Daniel and then they all wanted to do it.  I got a great workout for my legs:)

Monday, Daniel has a follow up MRI on the osteocondroma on his leg.  Please be in prayer with us that it hasn't changed. I want to ask you to pray for one more thing.......My friend's 9 year old daughter has some bleeding on a spot in her brain. They are meeting with doctors today about what they need to do.  They have been such an example to me about how to go through trials.  Even though they are scared they are trusting in Jesus and have HIS peace. Our family is praying for them and their family everytime the Lord brings them to our mind.

Orange belt day!

We are very pround of Daniel today! He earned his orange belt in taekwando! He had his heart set on testing today and we were not sure if he could get all the patterns down.  We told him he had to work really hard and practice and he practiced like crazy!

What we have been up too!

I wanted to catch you all up on what we have been up too! For the sake of time.....I will post some pictures!
Nathan has had 4 games so far.  They just lost their first game this past saturday, but they played a great game!  He has been playing a variety of positions and plays the WHOLE game.  When they ask him if he wants a break, he never wants one.  His favorite position is wide receiver.

Homeschooling Daniel is still going great!  He improves more each day:) We joined a homeschool co-op and the last few weeks he has done alot of really cool activities with the group.  The first week he was learning about South America and got to make a clay pot and eat some interesting new foods from South America (which he would not touch!).  Then this week he got to listen to a lady who rescues Macaw's.  As you can see from the picture....he LOVED it! Then in science they made cricket habitat's and got to bring home some crickets.  He has been watching them this week to see which habitat they perfer.

Today was the first day of their three week track-out, so everyone was excited to be able to sleep in this morning.  To celebrate, we went to the high school that Ashley will attend next year to watch the football game.  It was definately football weather and I couldn't be happier to get a break from the heat!  Nathan painted his hair blue for school spirit!

Today was such a beautiful fall day so we went to the park and had fun just walking and climbing on some huge rocks.

Nathan buried Daniel in the sand volleyball court! Needless to say, they had sand everywhere for the drive home!

Where has the time gone?

I got on to read some of my blogs that I haven't been able to read in a while and saw that is has been over 2 weeks since I have updated mine!  I really can't believe how fast it has gone.  I think it is an indicator of just how hectic our schedules have been.  Honestly, I don't like it but really don't know what to do to slow us down.  I can't wait till Friday night when we can just sit and watch a movie together!
School is still going wonderful with Daniel.  I love to see how he is changing so much.  I feel so blessed to be able to do this for him.  He has turned into a reading machine! He has been begging me for the past 2 days to take him to the library.  This is truely amazing because I use to have to drag him to the library.  Awana started up again and so he and Ashley are starting up their memorizing skills again!

Ashley is continuing to do AMAZING in school!  I cant believe the amount of homework she has.  Most days it is at least a couple hours.  She works so hard and I am so proud of her, not because of her getting A's, but because of her dedication to work hard!  She looked up her grade to her Algebra 1 test on the website tonight and saw it was a 92 and actually asked me if that was good!  She is definitely her father's daughter!  I would have jumped for joy to even get an 82 on an Algebra test.

Nathan is enjoying football.  He had a game this past Saturday and it reminded me of Ohio football weather!  I was rainy and COLD! and they played the whole game.  Nathan didn't think he was going to get to play this week without a splint, because last week in practice we were pretty sure he broke his pinky finger.  We went to urgent care and they did xrays and told us that he did break it.  They sent us to an orthopedic specialist and they thought the other doctor was crazy! You should have seen the smile on his face when the doctor told him he could take that splint of and play football with no restrictions!  It was swollen and black and blue but he played with it anyway.  This kid loves to play sports and has HEART!

As for Michael and I, we got to go have coffee together tonight!  Pumpkin spice lattes.....yummy! I love fall! After we went and had coffee, we got to go to some kind of research interview for Guidestone and earned $150!!!!
The small group we are leading just started last week and we are starting a marriage study.  We are so excited to be able to share and learn more about marriage with our awesome group of couples!  I am praying that the Lord would strengthen all of our marriages as we learn from God's Word about how HE intends marriage to be.  I am so thankful for the grace and mercy the Lord (and Michael) gives to me when I am not being the kind of wife that I should be.  Adam and Eve had it so good........and then they sinned.  Because of that we can only see things imperfectly as in a cloudy mirror.  But one day, we will see clearly. I can't even imagine what that will be like!  This verse really touched me when I studied it this week....
1 Corinthians 13:12 (NLT)
Now we see things imperfectly as in a cloudy mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity.  All I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.

In Christ Alone

Homeschooling Daniel has been going great so far! I am already seeing some wonderful improvements in him.  He told me last week that I was his best teacher ever and gave me a huge hug.  Priceless.  Ashley and Nathan are doing wonderful in school as well.  I am so thankful for how hard they work and the pride they take in the work they do.  Ashley just started dance up again and Nathan's first football game is Saturday!  Daniel earned his green belt in taekwando.  It has been a busy few weeks, to say the least. 

I have been trying to figure out for a week what to write in my blog.  I just have not been able to come up with anything.  I will be honest, it has been very hard for me to spend quiet time before the Lord.  But as I sat here this morning in the quiet, one of my favorite songs came on and I felt like I needed to share the lyrics to it.  It is called In Christ Alone.  I love the times when the Lord shows me that it is Him that I need to place everything before.  In the busyness, it is often times hard to remember!

In Christ alone will I glory
Though I could pride myself in battles won
For I’ve been blessed beyond measure
And by His strength alone I’ll overcome
Oh, I could stop and count successes like diamonds in my hands
But those trophies could not equal to the grace by which I stand

In Christ alone
I place my trust
And find my glory in the power of the cross
In every victory
Let it be said of me
My source of strength
My source of hope
Is Christ alone

In Christ alone do I glory
For only by His grace I am redeemed
For only His tender mercy
Could reach beyond my weakness to my need
And now I seek no greater honor in just to know Him more
And to count my gains but losses to the glory of my Lord

In Christ alone
I place my trust
And find my glory in the power of the cross
In every victory
Let it be said of me
My source of strength
My source of hope
Is Christ alone

I have been reminded this morning where my strength and hope need to be....How about you?

Changes

Faith.....sticking our feet into what we know God wants us to do WAY before we see the plan!  Well at least that's my version of the definition.  I have been thinking about the ways God has been preparing me for the journey he has placed before me.  I am in awe at how He works things out when I start to see the little pieces fitting together. As I look back over the past 3 years, if I would have known the plan I would have just not acted and told God that I will "pray" about it for a while.  I won't share the details, but you that know me best can remember all my kicking and screaming! Maybe not literally but in my heart.  I can't thank those people enough for all the times they just listened and didn't judge me for what I was feeling.  We need alot more listening and alot less judging if we are going to reach this world for Christ.  I wonder how much more willing people would be to come to church if they saw us be this way with our fellow brother's and sister's in Christ?
Anyway, back to where I started! Everyday, I see a new piece of the puzzle come together.  What I thought I wanted 3 years ago is not what I want now.  I have surrendered and now I want more of HIM and a lot more of relationships with people that don't know HIM.  I thought about this as I sat in the homeschool store last night and observed people.  I actually laughed to myself and found myself telling God how funny He is to put me back into homeschooling after I finally get what He has been teaching me.  When I homeschooled before, I was very comfortable with all my christian friends.  Now I want to form more relationships with non Christians and He puts me back into homeschooling! He does have a sense of humor! I am excited to see what He will do.  I came across this question.....What changes may you need to make to embrace God's journey for you?  This Bible verse answers the question for me, John 11:40 Then Jesus said, "Did I not tell you, that if you believe, you will see the glory of God?"
We all have changes that need to be made, mine aren't the same as yours.....What would be the answer to that question for you?

1 step ahead 2 steps back!

Just when you think your getting caught up, yep....a humble reminder that I might be getting caught up but not to put my faith there! I went to leave work yesterday and forgot something so I turned the corner and all I heard was a very loud sound.  I stopped the car and got out to see what happened and there was a hole the size of a softball in my tire AND my rim is bent.  I looked behind me and a huge rock was sticking out into the driveway.  When I turned it punctured my tire! I was not happy to say the least and two men came running because they heard the noise. They told me that their have been many other cars and trucks that have had the same thing happen.  My question is then...."why is the rock still there?"  Michael went in to tell the business park office and they didn't seem to care at all.  They said it's there so that the big trucks don't run up over the curb.  So the next logical question is.."why is it sticking out into the road to hit people who do NOT run up over the curb?" It really is pointless because it all comes down to them still not caring....ughh. 
Well.....tomorrow is another day!  

Answered Prayer

A few days ago I was talking through this whole homeschooling thing with Glenda, a lady I work with.  She encouraged me with a lot of things. One thing she told me to do was to ask God to give me some signs that when things get hard, I can look back on and remember that God called me to do this.  I have been flooded with things and I just wanted to share how faithful HE is to answer our prayers.  The very first thing was Ashley and Nathan's response.  I was so concerned that they would feel left out:(  When I asked them separately to pray for the possibility, they both immediately said, "You should do it Mom!" I was a little more concerned about what Nathan was going to say because he was the one who begged me to go back to homeschooling after we put him in school.  He immediately said, "That would be the best for Daniel, you need to do it!" I looked up and thanked the Lord right away.  Some other things were my work schedule.  I am blown away at the understanding and generosity of Jack and Susan that I work for.  Today they gave me so much encouragement and told me not to worry and to come in when I can.  God is faithful to provide. Among the other things were.....encouragement from a friend in a text this morning and her willingness to help me with ideas, a laptop computer....yes, God can really outdo Himself can't He? and an inspiring email from a dear mom in our church who reminded me that it is God teaching Daniel through me and that He only expects me to do my best and he will do the rest. Now I am crying......not because I am scared anymore but because I am in awe at why He loves me so much. I know I don't deserve it...but He loves me in spite of myself.  When He looks at me, He sees His precious sons blood that covers all my sin!
Last but definitely NOT least the support and encouragement I have received  from my wonderful husband.  He has been so strong for me.  I love you so much, Michael!

So when the days get tough ahead I am going to look back to all these things and rest in HIM.

No More Excuses!

A couple days ago in my Bible study, I was learning about Joshua and Moses and the reactions of each when God called them to do something.  Moses' reaction was to make excuses about how he wasn't qualified to do what God asked him to do.  He made excuse after excuse.  Joshua's response was immediate obedience and courage that showed he wasn't going to back down even though there was great risk.  God enabled both of them to handle the assignments God gave them even though they had no experience or background to which God was asking them to do.  Then I came across a series of questions.  The first was, "What does Joshua's lack of excuses reveal about his level of faith?" This was easy for me to answer because it was about someone else!  It reveals that he totally believed that God could do what he (Joshua) could not.  Then came the personal question.  "Has God called you to do something for which you are making excuses?  What do excuses regarding why you can't do what God asks reveal about how you view yourself?  How you view God?  Ouch. This question was much harder.  In fact, I couldn't even answer it for 2 days.  I knew what it was but I just kept thinking that maybe it is looking for a "church" answer.  Something He wants me to do in the church.  Then I finally surrendered and said yes to homeschooling Daniel.  There has been many reasons in the past year and a half that have brought  that to my mind, but I quickly dismissed them.  Excuse after excuse as to why it is not possible for me to do that.  No more excuses...still a little scared but trusting God for what it will take to do this.  I found this quote in my study, "Courage is not the absence of fear.  It is the will to move forward in spite of it.  I am a little fearful.....but I am going to move forward in spite of it!
1 Peter 5:7  Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. 

Joshua Is Coming!

Deuteronomy 34:8
     "So the sons of Israel wept for Moses in the plains of Moab thirty days; then the days of weeping and mourning for Moses came to an end."

     Moses brought the people from Egypt through the wilderness and toward the promise land.  I thought about how scary it had to be for them to not even be in the promise land and have Moses die.  I am sure they were wondering where God was and how He could let this happen before they even got to their destination.  It was like they could see the promise land but couldn't get there.  Often times in my walk with God, I can see where He is leading, but I just can't seem to get there.  It is not that God is hiding it from me or teasing me with it, but so often it is that I need to let go of something I have depended on.  We tend to depend on and hold on to what we can physically see and when that is gone, it can be scary.  God designed us for relationship with Him and anytime we put something else in that place we will be disappointed.
     The Israelites needed to mourn for the loss of Moses and all the other things that came as a result of losing him.  That could have been anger, fear, resentment toward God or many other things.  I have never really been one to take time to mourn over things.  I usually just "get on with it."  I love to be there to help others mourn but don't usually express mine.  It is not that I didn't want to, it was just that I never took the time to be still and hear my own struggles.  I just focused on others and put mine on the back burner.  But God is showing me the need to mourn over the things I feel I have lost.  Taking those things to God and allow Him to fill those empty places and then moving on to do what He has purposed.  Just like the Israelites, we can't see the plan God has.  They couldn't see that God's plan was that Joshua was coming!  God gives us time to mourn the things we have lost.  That is healthy.  What is not healthy is when we never move past the mourning stage.  There are many things people mourn or should mourn.  Friendships, jobs, loss of a loved one, spouses leaving, divorce, ministry opportunities, finances.  It is different for each of us, but what is the same for all of us is the faithfulness of God to send a "Joshua".  I love the quote from Pricilla Shirer, "As we grieve those things that must die so that we can move more fully into the Spirit-filled abundant life, let's remember that better things are on the horizon!  A Joshua is coming!  Are there things is your life that you need to mourn?  Have you mourned long enough and need to move on?

Mountain of God

In Exodus 19, the Lord reveals Himself to the Israelites at Mt. Sinai.  It was called the Mountain of God.   At this place, God brought them closer to Himself. 
Exodus 19:4-6 --"You have seen what I did to the Egyptians.  You know how I carried you on eagles wings and brought you to myself.  Now if you will obey me and keep my convenant, you will be my own special treasure from all the peoples on earth; for all the earth belongs to me.  And you will be my kingdom of priests, my holy nation.  This is the message you must give to the people of Israel." 
I have read about the Israelites in the wilderness for many years, but until this study and this point in my life, I haven't seen how unique God's ways really are toward us individually.  I am sure that there are many others that have done this study but God has shown them something very different.  Why?  Because each one of us has our own set of circumstances and unique personalities!  Christ has saved me from slavery to sin and has led me on a journey so that I can meet Him in my own personal way at my own "Mountain of God". 
God wants fellowship with us.  There are so many things in Christianity that fight to take the place of fellowship (relationship) with God.  It could be ministry itself, finances and even friendships.  I was thinking back to that moment in my life when I knew that I needed Jesus to save me.  At the age of 12, I was so very aware of my sins.  I wanted to be "good" and on the outside it seemed that I was, but I knew that God could see my heart and that I needed Him.  He desired more than to change me on the outside.  He wanted a relationship with me and I clung to that!  Before long being a Christian became a way of living that meant following a bunch of rules and "how things looked on the outside."  When I went to church they talked about God like He was so far away.  Growing up in our church, I never remember being taught that the Holy Spirit lives in me as a believer.  It was more like you had to come to church on Sunday to get "filled up" and try to make it last until you could make it back again.  I can remember saying to myself as a teenager, "I know God can do more than I have seen!"  I remember reading the stories in the Bible and feeling so close to God even though I didn't understand all that I was reading.  I love how He gives us just what we need when we need it.  When I became a Christian, He started me on a journey (just like the Israelites).  There are many parts of my journey that I have not liked, but as I look back on them they were the parts that made me run to Him.  Everytime I have brought my needs before Him, He has taught me that it is only Him that can satisfy that need!

Refreshment

The biggest thing I took away from my Bible study this week is how God refreshes us in the midst of walking in the wilderness.  Exodus 15:27 says, "Then they came to Elim where there were twelve springs of water and seventy date palms, and they camped there beside the waters."  I think it is so cool how God provided twelve springs of water for them at Elim and there were twelve tribes of Israel!  He gave them just what they needed to make it through and also provide some much needed refreshment.
Like the Israelites, He knows exactly what I need to encourage me on my journey.  I think it is a good reminder to look at all that He has done, so I got out my journal and turned way back.  I saw two big things that we needed that He provided.  Then in the midst of those things I saw the day by day things that I had entered. They weren't "big" material things but they were God speaking to me through my Bible study, sermons I listen to online, books that I read, encouragement from my coworker, watching my children grow up and experience God for themselves. As I look back on all those enteries I realized that it was in the day to day living that He shows me His provision and care the most.  This doesn't mean that I don't appreciate the "big" things, it just reminds me of how He loves us each in a way He knows we receive love the best.  I have never been really big on receiving gifts.  It's not that I am not grateful for them, it's just not how I feel loved.  I feel the most loved by God when He walks right beside me and whispers what He wants me to learn through what I am reading, listening to or the relationships He puts around me.  These are the blessings that I see Him in the most and I thank Him for them daily. 
Tonight, a lady shared this verse with me:  Isaiah 42:16, "I will lead the blind by a way they do not know.  In paths they do not know, I will guide them. I will make darkness into light before them. 
These past few years, He has been leading me by a way I do not know.  I can see how He guides me (sometimes I listen and other times I do not).  I can also see how He is beginning to take this part of my journey and make the darkness into light!!

Wilderness

Exodus 13:17 "When Pharaoh let the people go, God did not lead them on the road through the Philistine country, though that was shorter. For God said, “If they face war, they might change their minds and return to Egypt.”
This is one of those verses that you just read and not think that much about.  During my study of this verse, I was surprised at what I found.  God didn't take the Hebrew people out of Egypt the way that they thought He should or the way they thought would be easier.  He took them a different path through the wilderness because He knew their hearts, something they didn't know about themselves.  God knew that if they went the way that seemed easier to them, they would experience something that God knew they couldn't handle.
So many times in my life, I find myself wondering why God didn't make things turn out the way that I wanted them to be.  As I look back through my life, most of the time I see that it was for the better.  The times when I can't see, I have to trust by faith that His ways are not my own (Isaiah 55:8) and He knows the big picture!
I have had to ask myself this question: With comforts left behind me and the wilderness before me, will I follow God even if the way seems difficult? Or will I strive to have my own plan work out and miss what God is doing in my heart?
How about you?

New Bible Study

I just started a new Bible Study called One in a Million. I am so excited about it because it's about how we as Christians should live in the freedom that we have in Christ. It is amazing that we have the power that raised Jesus from the dead living inside us yet we refuse to rely on it. At the beginning of the week, she told about how elephants are trained by chaining them as babies. Since the babies are weak and can't get free, they grow tired of trying and give up. They learn to live in the boundaries of the chain. After a while an enormous elephant can be restrained with a small rope. Pretty soon the animal sees freedom as hopeless and stops trying to experience it.
I am so thankful for a God who never gives up on me, even through the times I just give up trying! By the grace of God through Jesus, I can be free from the curse of sin. Because of my relationship with Christ,my journey to freedom has already begun. I am excited to learn all that I can from this study!